Tuesday, 7 August 2012
The 10 laws of dating for men
An open, friendly smile says a lot about you. It can be a good indication that you feel good about yourself and that reflects in your expression. It can be contagious and make your date feel like smiling too, which can only be a good thing. If you’ve been told you have a cheeky grin, don’t hesitate to flash it. Sometimes a tentative one works too, women often like that shy, little-boy look, and it makes them feel very protective! And don’t forget, if you’ve got dimples, let them show!
2. Pay her a compliment
When you are dating a woman, you can be sure that she has taken considerable trouble over her appearance. Let her know you’ve noticed. Compliment her on the attractive dress she’s wearing or just tell her how good she looks. Exclamations that sound genuine include "wow" or "amazing" or a simple "you look fantastic". As you get to know her better, make the compliments less superficial and more intense. For instance, if you realize she’s knowledgeable about art or is a great cook, tell her "I love that about you" but don’t be phony. Make sure whatever you compliment her on, it’s legitimate and you mean it.
3. Don't boast about your conquests
The worst thing you could do is to brag about your skills as a Casanova. Even if you are, she doesn’t really want to hear about it. It will only serve to make her feel like one in a long list of exploits. That’s not what you’re aiming for. One of the biggest turnoffs can be to have to sit through the boring monologue of a braggadocio and having to stroke his already considerable ego.
4. Don't run down your ex
And this is the next worst thing you could do. What you’re saying about your ex won’t matter as much as what is being conveyed about you. That you cannot master your emotions and handle a break-up is one thing. But the bitterness that spills out does not set the right note and will cause considerable discomfort to your date. Also consider her feelings. She will realize that if things don’t work out, one day, you will be talking the same way about her to another woman. And if there’s one thing women hate, it’s to be discussed in a negative light with another woman, however unknown. It will hardly make her empathetic.
5. Personal hygiene is very important
Your date will really appreciate it if you make the effort to look neat and smell good. A woman adores a man who smells divine. It will in all probability encourage her to lean in, and use any excuse to get closer to you. Just so she can get a whiff of your sexy aftershave. Pay attention to your grooming and your appearance too. A well turned-out guy is a visual pleasure and you will find her eyes staying on you in genuine appreciation.
6. Be a good listener
Don’t feel like you have to talk all the time to keep the conversation flowing. If you think she’s hesitant or not an equal participant in the conversation, draw her out. Ask about her interests and work, what she does in her leisure time – general topics which she will feel free to open up about. It takes a skilled conversationalist to avoid awkward silences and yet manage to steer the conversation back to your date. If she’s happy to talk, be an attentive listener and store relevant details for future reference. She’s sure to be touched that you remembered such apparently trivial details and made a note of them.
7. Make her laugh
Use humor to charm her. That doesn’t mean you have to have her cracking up for a better part of the evening. But if a woman spends her date with you truly enjoying herself, she’s certain to let her guard down enough to let you get to know her better. And she’s definitely going to be up for more dates in the future.
8. Display good manners
Treat the lady well. There is something charming about a man who respects a lady and isn’t afraid to show it. Don’t make the mistake of using foul language or cracking smutty jokes. It rarely serves any purpose other than to indicate your lack of maturity. At the same time, don’t bow and scrape too much and hang around like a puppy dog that’s too eager to please. Keep your self-respect intact.
9. Don’t be pushy
The key is subtlety. Don’t push her for anything more than she is ready to reveal or to give. Also, don’t be aggressive and insist on getting her another drink, paying the entire bill or having coffee at your place. Give her the liberty of making her own decisions and while you may like to foot the entire bill, if she isn’t comfortable with it, don’t be boorish and persist. And just because she lets you buy her dinner, don’t expect sex as a natural outcome of it. In fact, the golden rule is not to have too many expectations at all, especially of the first few dates. Give her space, don’t crowd her and pursue her too much.
10. Be honest
Or at least as honest as you can afford to be. Act as naturally as you can and don’t pretend to be anything you’re not. It will be hard to always keep up appearances and eventually your true colors will show. The more at ease you are, the more comfortable she will feel with you, and that’s the best guarantee you have that she will want to see you again.