Saturday, 19 October 2013

Flirting Tips - Tips to flirt effectively

Just like painting or cooking, flirting too is an art. Some are lucky enough to be natural flirts. It just comes so easily to them. But take heart! Flirting is not a talent which you either have or you don’t. It is a skill that can be acquired and honed. The more you practice, the better you get at it.
We sometimes hear of a guy being referred to as an ‘incorrigible flirt’, but it is rarely a derogatory tag. In fact women often love to be flirted with; it makes them feel special. And almost all women adore a skilled flirt, unless of course he happens to be your boyfriend and he’s always flirting with other women!
TIP: Find out how to flirt with your boyfriend and charm him!
Flirting is not a male domain. In fact most men love women who make the first move. You can earn extra points by doing it with grace and flair.
Many of us feel we just can’t flirt and would probably end up looking foolish. And we secretly envy those who seem to attract members of the opposite sex like bees to honey. Sometimes we justify it by saying, “Oh, he’s good looking”, or “She’s got a great body”, and hence successful at the flirting game. You’re wrong!
You don’t have to be attractive or sexy to charm the socks off the man. Sure, it can help; but with or without them, you can still come out tops in the popularity charts.
For those who think they could never do it, here are a few tips to be a successful flirt:
1. Show It Off
If you’ve got it, flaunt it. We’re not contradicting what we just said, but if you’ve got the assets, capitalize on them. We’re not talking obvious beauty here, but if you’ve got good legs, display them. Or sensuous lips, accentuate them with the latest shade from Maybelline. If you’ve been bulking up those biceps in the gym, don’t hide them. Whatever it may be, make the most of your best feature!
TIP: 'Tell Me Honey...2000 Questions for Couples' is a book from that will help you know your boyfriend's secret desires and inner feelings. It's also available as an instant download ebook.
2. Sex Appeal
You may not have any single spectacular feature, but you may have something intangible…if anyone has ever told you that you have loads of sex appeal, let it show! It could be your razor sharp intelligence or sparkling wit. If you know it gets them weak in the knees, exploit it to the maximum.

3. Self-confidence
You have to exude this quality if you want to be successful at the flirting game. Flirting requires gumption and you need to be really bold in your approach.
4. Dress to Impress
As you approach her, she assesses you and already forms a snap judgment based on what she sees. It's not said for nothing that ‘First impressions are the last impressions’, so before you even open your mouth let, your appearance speak a thousand words. If women have told you before that you have a good butt, wear that cool pair of Levi’s that highlights it, along with your favorite shirt.
5. Smell Good
Our body secretes pheromones that are subtle indicators and draw members of the opposite sex to us. But, you could help your cause a bit by generously using an extra dash of that David off or Burberrys. Women go weak at the knees when men emanate that indefinable aroma which is all musk and male.

6. Body Language
Our body can send some very powerful signals and it is an invaluable tool in the art of flirting. The eyes, for instance, can speak volumes without a word ever crossing our lips. You can adopt the subtle approach and sidle glances his way or be bold and grab her attention with a direct look. Be sure not to stare offensively though, she may run, but not in the direction you’re hoping! You can even be coy and use the age-old fluttering of your eyelashes and hope he’s a sucker for it. The hands too can be used to advantage. You can run your fingers suggestively down the spine of the book you happen to be carrying as if you’d rather be running them down her spine! Or if you’ve got luscious lips, you could keep running your tongue over them to moisten them or pout in his direction. The possibilities are endless!
7. Conversation Opener
There is no point setting the stage, perfecting your costume and make-up and then forgetting your lines. When you’re flirting, put on the performance of your life. Know what you’re going to say and be convincing. Try for something original instead of the run-of-the-mill pick-up lines. There are, of course, women who enjoy the occasional corny line, but every woman would like to hear something new.
8. Language
Use good language and if you have a way with words, use it to your advantage. If you’re well-read, bring it up at relevant points in the conversation. Remember though, while you’re trying to impress, this is not about you, always steer the topic back to your partner.
9. Compliment
Observe and pay compliments. If you really want to make an impression you’ll avoid the more obvious, like how she has great hair or he’s got fantastic height. Try and probe and discover things not apparent on the surface and you’ll have your victim’s attention.
Don’t resort to idle flattery; unless you do it with remarkable aplomb or your target is stupid or both, you won’t succeed.
10. Humor
If you ask most men/women for the top five qualities they look for, a sense of humor almost invariably figures in the first three. Its no wonder they say that laughter is the best medicine. If he’s faking a polite laugh, then you know enough not to pursue it, you’re not on the same wavelength or he simply doesn’t find you funny. But if he finds you rib-ticklingly funny, you’ve ensured a date by the end of the evening.
11. Make Him/Her Feel Special
The one you’re trying to flirt with may be in a roomful of people or surrounded by a group of friends but try holding eye contact and making him/her feel like they are the center of your universe. Be interested in everything he/she is saying and absorb every feature as if you are trying to etch it in your memory. Believe me, they will get the message that you’re more than interested!

Friday, 18 October 2013

Why you shouldn't reveal everything about yourself to your lover

When you’re getting to know each other and are in the initial stages of a budding relationship, it's best not to reveal everything about yourself to your lover. If you insist on telling him everything, even if your life is an open book, he might be bored because he already knows more than he probably needs to. It is always good for a relationship to retain a hint of mystery and to keep him guessing a bit. It is more fun to let him discover things for himself and gradually uncover your hidden depths, layer by layer.
TIP: Find out how to keep your partner in love with you.
If you have a few skeletons in your closet, and you choose to reveal them all in the beginning of the relationship when you’re still treading on uncertain ground, you run the risk of your partner backing off if he’s not comfortable with what you have disclosed. Once you are more settled into the relationship and if the situation presents itself, tell him only as much as you think he should know.
Trust and honesty is important for a relationship, so if he asks you certain pointed questions, don’t try and hide stuff. But you don’t have to tell him all the gory details, an abbreviated version will do. Being comfortable enough with your lover, to tell him the truth, also involves trusting him enough with your feelings and that he will not abuse this trust, or use whatever you tell him to get back at you someday, or throw it in your face.
If your lover is the jealous type or overly possessive, be wary of what you tell him about past relationships. If you think he can’t handle the information in a mature manner, tell him selectively whatever you think he can deal with. And if he doesn’t ask, don’t tell him at all.
Also, if you do discuss your past history with your lover, you don’t need to go into details about each and every past relationship you’ve ever had. He also doesn’t need to know statistics – how many boyfriends you’ve had, how many people you’ve slept with, how many live-in relationships you’ve had – unless you’re truly comfortable and want to discuss it. And unless it becomes a bone of contention, some things are best left in the past.
And guys, you also don’t have to reveal to your lover how intimate you were with your last girlfriend. Or what you used to fight about. If she’s pushing you to talk about it, keep it brief or be evasive and tell her you can’t remember every detail or you don’t like to dwell on what’s over and done with. Don’t ever say that you’re not ready to talk about it, as your partner will take it as a sign that you still have feelings for your old girlfriend and don’t trust her enough to talk about it.
The reason why you shouldn’t get into ‘telling all’ is by pleading to the 5th amendment – Anything you say can and will be used against you – at a future date. If you told her, for instance, that your last girlfriend hated how messy you were, the next time you leave your socks lying around, you’ll have it thrown back in your face with a "No wonder she dumped you".
Or if you told him that your friends often call you a control freak, the next occasion you give him a list of things to be done around the house, he’ll use it against you, telling you that its no surprise that you’ve got a reputation like that.
Or if you happen to have once made the mistake of telling him that your boyfriend thought you were a tad obstinate and pigheaded, the next time you’re having an argument, he’s going to rub it in by saying, "See, this is why you’re not in a relationship, because you refuse to see another point of view apart from your own."
And don’t ever make the colossal mistake of telling your lover that your ex and you had a great sex life. He/she will always feel inadequate and that they pale in comparison, and no matter what you say afterwards, they will always feel that they never measure up.

Winning over the girl who rejected you

You fell in love with this girl who seemed to embody all you ever wanted in a woman. But there was only one problem. She didn’t seem to feel the same way about you. You really liked her, but couldn’t seem to get her to like you in return. Or worse yet, not only didn’t she like you, but also seemed to spurn your advances. And even though you feel you tried every trick in the book, she flat out rejected you.

Understandably you feel like your world is falling apart. But take heart, and try and look to greener pastures. Unfortunately, for some guys, they can’t look beyond and forget about this girl who doesn’t seem to care a fig for their feelings. They want what they can’t have. It’s either the challenge or seriously believing there is only this one girl for them.
Sadly, if you’re one of those guys, she is etched on your memory and you can’t seem to get her out of your mind. Like Jordan, a lifeguard summed it up, "In my profession, I see tons of beautiful women everyday, but there was something about Lisa that drew me to her and although she didn’t seem interested I’d made up my mind that it was her or nobody else. She was reserved and even though she told me I was wasting my time, somehow I felt that if I managed to get under her skin, it would be worth the effort."
So what did Jordan do? He figured out Lisa’s weak spot – her family. She was very close to her parents and fiercely protective of her younger brother Matt, who was mentally challenged. Jordan managed to charm the socks off Lisa’s parents and succeeded in drawing Matt out, taking him to the beach and getting him to laugh and chase the waves.
"But I wasn’t trying to use Matt. I might have started out with ulterior motives, but once I got to know him, I was genuinely trying to give him a good time and found pleasure in his happiness," Jordan says. Gradually Lisa began to mellow and came to the conclusion that there was more to Jordan than initially met the eye. She’d stereotyped him as a flashy Casanova, but realized there was a depth to him and actually found herself falling for him.

Of course, everyone’s case might not be as straightforward or turn out as happy. But the important thing is that if you think you can’t be with anyone else until this girl, who once rejected you, gives you a fair chance, you’ve got to try. So here’s some food for thought…
1. Stop pursuing her
For some women the thrill is in the chase…or rather, being chased. So stand back and stop being available or even worse, at her beck and call. Play hard-to-get for a change. Keep your distance, but don’t disappear from the scene altogether. Just let her realize that you’re no longer a sucker for her. She might even think you’ve given up any idea of the two of you together and this will give you time to work out your next move.
2. Work on your weaknesses
Don’t let this affect your self-esteem, but did she give you any hints on why she wasn’t interested? Did she tell you that you were too aggressive and it made her uncomfortable? Or maybe she didn’t like your friends? Or you were out of your depth and acted silly around her? While this may not be a reflection on you as a person, if you can’t see your way to having a relationship with anyone until you’ve explored possibilities with her, try and work on and remedy whatever it is she had a problem with, if you’re really serious about her. But think about it, if she didn’t like your friends, are you willing to sacrifice friendship at the altar of possible love?
3. Get a makeover
Try and get a friend of yours – male or female – to be your personal fashion guru. Someone who has good fashion sense and could give you some grooming tips; soup up your appearance and give yourself a ‘new look’. If you can afford it, some new attire wouldn’t go amiss either, along with a hairstyle that compliments your face and highlights your best features.
4. Cultivate an interest in her interests
Try and find out through whatever source - her friends, colleagues, anybody whom you have access to – what she’s passionate about. It could be a sport, dancing, art – whatever it is, try and get into the act. If it’s dancing, take lessons - and you might just find yourself having a good time while you’re at it! Become a connoisseur of art if that’s what it takes. This is a hidden weapon to pull out when the moment is right.
5. Get into the groove
Start insinuating yourself back into the scene. Keep yourself within range and keep her in your radar but don’t make it too obvious or apparent. And for crying out loud, don’t stalk her and force her to get a restraining order on you! Figure out a way to meet her on neutral ground, without seeming desperate about it.
6. Click with her clique
If you’re a master of subtleties, try and ingratiate yourself into her inner circle of friends. Or casually get to know a cousin she might be close to. Figure out a way of befriending a good friend of hers so that you have a leg in. However, just to throw her off course, don’t make any effort to go out of your way to seek her company. Don’t ignore her - that would seem too premeditated - but anything more than breezy friendliness would make her suspicious and she would realize that this is a ruse to curry favor with her.
Initially, just try and establish what a great guy you are and gain marks for popularity. If you have the gift of wit, entertain her friends and make them laugh. As you get more familiar, you could even flirt casually with a few of her friends, in a harmless, fun way. Make sure however, that you fool around with all of them equally, not any specific one, as you wouldn’t want one of them to start having feelings for you and then alienate them when they realize your true motives, which will eventually surface.
Hopefully, once the girl who rejected you sees what a fun guy you are and how her friends all seem to be talking about you, she might start seeing you in a new light. And of course if you can throw in a few intelligent remarks about her passions (this is the right moment to take advantage of!) added to your already significant popularity quotient, you might be well on your way to winning over the girl who once rejected you!
But if all this doesn’t work, be ready to concede defeat, and be a man about it. There are plenty of fish in the sea and once you decide to move on, you might surprise yourself how quickly you bounce back!