Friday, 21 September 2012

Dealing with a cheating boyfriend

What if your relationship with your boyfriend has become an integral part of your life, a characteristic of your identity, then you suddenly discover that your boyfriend whom you had begun to love is cheating on you. It is extremely difficult and furthermore painful to deal with this bitter truth. This boyfriend, who left no stone unturned to express his ‘undying’ love for you was actually repeating the same words to another girl! The first and foremost thought that may enter your mind on discovering your boyfriend’s deceitful side is to walk out of the relationship. But an impulsive decision may not put a full stop to his cheating ways.
TIP: How to get proof that your boyfriend is really cheating
It may take a while for you to absorb this reality. After investing your time, emotions and energy in this relationship, you should think of considering a few ways to deal with your cheating boyfriend rather than walk away from the situation without making him realize his mistake. How do you deal with a cheating boyfriend as well as the emotional upheaval that ensues? Here are a few guidelines that may help:
Self-doubt or Self-pity
Remember that your boyfriend is the one who has cheated on you and not the other way round. There should be absolutely no room for self-doubt or self-pity. "Was there anything wrong with the way I dressed or looked? Is this the reason why allowed himself to get attracted to another girl?" Self-doubt or self-pity can hamper your self-esteem and hinder you from thinking straight. The guilt and pain after being cheated by your boyfriend is no doubt intense, but wallowing will not improve the situation.
Accept reality but avoid hasty decisions
Getting cheated is undoubtedly a heart-wrenching aspect for a girl but it cannot be viewed as a factor to end a relationship. Repeated episodes of cheating by your boyfriend, inspite of warnings, is unpardonable. But if you have known your boyfriend for long and think he is a wonderful person, then you may reconsider the idea of abruptly ending the relationship. But make sure that he makes a solemn promise to remain faithful towards you.
Confrontation
Once you have discovered that your boyfriend is cheating on you, don’t keep your negative emotions bottled up within you. Confront your boyfriend with your findings. You do need to have a heart-to-heart talk with him to find out what is on his mind, how he views his relationship with you or what both of you can do together to ensure that this does not happen again.
Give an ultimatum to your boyfriend
You can issue an ultimatum, asking him to 'either end the relationship with the other girl' or run the risk of losing you forever. If your boyfriend agrees for the former, then mutually agree upon a plan of action. If your boyfriend is unfaithful again, then you are free to do whatever you want.
Seek professional advice
If you are unable to reach a consensus with your boyfriend, meet a counselor and try to get some guidance in dealing with the situation. Professional help in such a situation may tie up lose ends and help you in dealing with a cheating boyfriend with much needed maturity and discretion.
How to make your ex jealous
It has been just over three months since Jane broke up with Samuel. Being an ardent lover of theatre with a passion for acting, Jane and Samuel’s paths often crossed each other. At the weekly drama rehearsals Jane would turn all shades of red when Samuel rehearsed as Romeo with a pretty girl playing Juliet. Jane experienced a twinge of jealousy looking at them together. Though the wounds of their break-up was yet to heal, Jane was determined to make her ex jealous.
Making your ex jealous is one of the ways of letting him know what he missed out on! Here are a few easy-to-adopt ways of making your ex jealous:
Enjoy yourself
IWhen your ex is around, do not sit and sulk in a corner. There can be no other way of conveying that you are still mooning over him! Put on your best clothes and have fun, show him that you are really enjoying yourself. If you happen to meet him in a club or near a dance floor, make sure that you put on your dancing shoes and hit the dance floor with a vengeance! Your smiling face and ‘love for life’ attitude should make your ex realize just how fabulous and wonderfully you are.
Hang around with his friends
Make sure your ex notices you when you talk to his friends. Laugh loudly when a joke is being told. Your ex should hear the laughter in your voice when you talk to his friends and resent the happiness it indicates.
Ignore him
Try not to exchange pleasantries with you ex if both of you happen to move in the same social circles. Your are way past the stage of being amiable, just pretend that he does not exist when both of you are in the same room. Ignore him and this will surely dent his self esteem.
Flirt with different guys
If making your ex jealous is your sole aim, then why not adopt the time-tested method of getting flirtatious? Flirting with other guys when your ex is around is a sure-fire way of making him jealous, unwanted and unworthy.
Ignore him at every opportunity
Jealousy is a powerful emotion. It is often used to draw attention, especially by those who have broken up with their boyfriend/girlfriend. If the separation with the boyfriend was not cordial, then girls often resort to various ways of getting even with their ex. Making their ex jealous is one such method. If done within limits it is harmless. In many cases, if one succeeds in making the ex jealous, then one may get over the hurt or disappointment caused by the breakup.