Men and Relationships: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit

The one question you will never hear a guy ask when he starts dating a girl is: “Will she commit to me?” It just doesn’t happen. Questions and uncertainties regarding commitment seem to be reserved for the ladies.
Women of all ages and across all cultures are united in their quest to determine the following: Does he like me? Is he serious about me? Will he ever commit to me? And trust me, I get it.  I’ve experienced those gut-twisting feelings, the ones the leave you with a constant sense of impending doom in the pit of your stomach causing you to question everything, including yourself.
It’s understandable. I mean, there is a lot at stake when you put your heart on the line and you can end up wasting months, or years, of your life on a man who never intended to keep you around for the long haul. And the aftermath of these situations is never pretty.
So what can we do to spare ourselves the time, energy, and heartbreak that goes into determining how a man feels?
After giving this topic a lot of thought and consulting with several guys, I’ve uncovered five tell-tale signs that he isn’t going to commit to you now or ever. 
1. You don’t know anything real about him
You can talk to someone for hours and hours every day and not know anything real about them. You might know details about their life, but you don’t know who they are, their real and true self that exists beneath all the superficial fluff.
When a guy is serious about a woman, he shares himself with her. He lets her into his world and shows some level of vulnerability. This is a big thing for a man. Men aren’t used to opening up and showing their emotions and they are much more selective when it comes to letting people in.
When a guy opens up to you, when he shares his dreams, his fears, his hopes, his wishes, his motivations, etc., he is investing in you. By investing in you, he is committing himself to you.
If a guy doesn’t share his true self with you, if he won’t let you see who he is at his core, the chances are high that he’s not in  in it to win it and doesn’t see a future.
If you’re really unsure as to whether a guy is serious about you or not, take a look at the things you know about him and consider if you know who he really is.
2. He disappears for days or weeks at a time, then acts like it was no big deal
If a guy truly cares about you, he will want to make room for you in his life. Even if he has a lot going on and won’t be available for a few days, he’ll send a text or message to let you know he’s thinking about you.
If he takes vacations from the relationship with no warning it means he isn’t worried about losing you, and this is never a good sign. If a guy knows for certain that you’ll always be there waiting in the wings, no matter how badly he behaves, he won’t respect you and he definitely won’t want to commit to you–why should he when he knows he doesn’t have to? There would be absolutely no benefit for him.
His disappearing acts serve more as a way to let you know this relationship isn’t serious and he is still free to do what he wants. It’s his way of letting you know that you aren’t a deciding factor in where he goes and what he does.
3. He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship
This seems like an obvious one, but unfortunately, it’s not! In fact, I think the most common relationship in this day and age is the non-relationship, that is, when you’re dating a guy and you’re basically boyfriend/girlfriend aside from the fact that you’re not.
The ugly truth is this: when a guy says he doesn’t want a relationship, what he’s really saying is he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
I know you think you’re the exception and your situation is different. I’ve been there and I’m telling you, it isn’t. You’re like every other girl in a non-relationship. You’re a great girl who maybe sold herself a little short and is in a situation where the guy calls all the shots and is just taking you along for the ride as you sit patiently in the back seat, waiting for him to decide you’re “good enough.”
If he tells you he doesn’t wan to be in a relationship or he has “commitment issues” or hates labels, just take it at face value and do yourself a favor and move on.
4. He doesn’t take you on real dates
If your dates consist of you going over to his place and watching a movie or you cooking for him, then he isn’t taking you or the relationship very seriously.
When a guy is invested in you and cares about you, he wants to go out of his way to impress you and show you he cares. I know most women don’t feel this way, but trust me, when a guy likes you, it’s obvious.
If he puts in the bare minimum when it comes to dates it means he doesn’t feel like you’re worth the effort. Are there exceptions? Sometimes. But even if a guy is jobless and broke and doesn’t have the money to take you out, he’ll find some sort of cheap and creative way to show you he cares.
When a guy cares about a girl and sees a future with her, he wants to bring her into his world as much as possible. He wants to introduce her to the things he likes: movies, music, hobbies. These aren’t things that require much of a financial investment but they speak volumes about his level of emotional investment.
If you’re the only one making the effort to keep the spark alive and do special things, it’s a sign that he isn’t very invested in you.
5. He won’t introduce you to his family
A lot of women make the mistake of thinking that meeting a guy’s friends is a big deal. Maybe some guys view this as a big deal, but most don’t. Maybe he just wants to show you off because you’re hot, or maybe he just doesn’t think much of introducing girls to his friends. I have plenty of friends who looked at meeting his friends as the holy grail… the tell tale sign that he’s all in, he’s committed. It’s not. Meeting is family is where it’s at. (Side note: While meeting his friends isn’t the biggest deal, if he won’t introduce you to them it’s a definite red flag.)
When you’re in a relationship, talk of meeting the family should come up. Maybe you don’t meet them right away, but he should give you come sort of indication that it’s on the horizon. At the very least, he should let you know that his family is aware of your existence.
If he doesn’t talk about his family, or changes the subject anytime you bring it up, it’s a sign that he has no intention of making the introduction.
As I mentioned earlier, when a man is serious about a woman, he brings her into his world. By keeping you away from his family, he’s essentially saying he doesn’t see you being in his world for the long run.
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Got anymore signs a man won’t commit? Tell us about them in comments!

Get the Relationship You Want: 4 Rules to Live By

I know it may not seem this way, but relationships are actually surprisingly simple. And if you can master a few basic principles about relationships, and what it takes to have the right relationship, you will be better able to navigate through the confusion and heartbreak and will effortlessly get the relationship you’ve always wanted.

Whether you’re involved or single as can be, here are the top four rules to live by to get the relationship you want:

1. Never Want Someone Who Doesn’t Want You

Sounds obvious, but sadly, it’s not! When it comes to men and relationships, us gals can delude ourselves in some pretty impressive ways. We find signs to prove that things are the way we want them to be and that he feels the way we want him to feel.

Now here’s the truth of the matter. If a guy says or indicates he wants to be with you, but isn’t actually with you for whatever reason (I don’t like labels, my ex girlfriend was evil, I’m stressed about my job, my dog died etc. etc.), then don’t waste your time. Don’t help his case by reasoning and rationalizing why his excuses make sense (but he is really busy! And his last girlfriend sounded like such a bitch, and his dog was his best friend).

When someone is giving you excuses as to why they can’t do something, what they’re really doing is telling you they don’t want to do it. Some reasons may be quite impressive, there may even be sprinkles of truth mixed in there, but when it comes down to it, if he wants to be with you, he will be. Are there exceptions? Yes, but they are very, very rare. And even if a guy can’t commit for whatever reason, he will make sure to still let you know he’s invested in a real and substantial way.

If a guy isn’t showing you that he is committed and that he wants to be with you and only you, then stop wanting that from him. It isn’t easy, but it’s a far better alternative than wasting months or even years of your life waiting around for some guy to get his act together, wouldn’t you agree?

2. Do I Like Myself When I’m With This Person?

Being in a relationship shouldn’t be your end-goal, the goal should be attaining the right relationship.

When two people are in a relationship, they should bring out the best in one another. They should challenge each other to grow so that their attributes strengthen and they become the best versions of themselves.

When a relationship crushes you and leaves you feeling paranoid, anxious, insecure, inadequate, and always on edge, just waiting for the other shoe to drop…. you’re cheating yourself out of having the immense benefits a good relationship can provide.

It breaks my heart seeing some of the questions we receive via email and in the forum. So many of our readers feel miserable and trapped by their relationships. Yet despite these agonizing feelings of hurt/despair/insecurity/fear, they are unable to extricate themselves from the situation because of their all-consuming feelings for the other person.

They get so caught up in their feelings for him, or his presumed feelings for them, that they miss the most important variable in the equation. And that is: Do I like myself when I’m with this person?

I’ve been in relationships where I almost didn’t recognize myself, ones where my flaws were magnified and my attributes were tucked away somewhere beyond reach. It’s a miserable feeling, one that can have lasting ramifications long after the relationship (inevitably) ends.

At the end of the day, you are all you have. You need to be your greatest ally in the world, you need to do what’s best for you and what will make you happy and help you reach your potential. If your relationship is sending you in the opposite direction, stop wasting your strength and energy on making it work and instead use those forces to walk away.

3.  Take the Word “Should” Out of Your Vocabulary

If you’re  gonna do anything, it should be to take the word should out of your vocabulary! Okay, in all seriousness, the word should is very poisonous when it comes to relationships (“Always” and “Never” are tied for second). When you tell a guy what he should be doing, you’re saying what he is doing isn’t enough.

Guys want to make you happy, seriously. Guys also need to feel like winners in the world. If you “should” him, you’re basically telling him he’s a loser who can’t make you happy and this will not encourage him to try any harder.

Should is a punishing word. It causes resentment to brew and it immediately places the person you’re “shoulding” on the defensive. Just think about all the times someone told you what you “should” do. That word is never received pleasantly.

Instead of focusing on what your partner should be doing, try to look at what he is doing right in the relationship and show appreciation for those things. The more your man feels appreciated, the more he’ll want to do to make you happy.

When you can come from this place, you and your man will be true partners instead of adversaries and things will feel much more relaxed and effortless.

4. Be The Prize

The most common trap women fall into in relationships is trying to be good enough for the guy. So many women get stuck plotting and slanning their every move in an effort to prove their worth to a guy. This is the worst way to be in a relationship. For one, it reeks of neediness. It also puts the guy in the drivers seat and essentially tells him the terms of the relationship are his to dictate. When this happens, you’ll find yourself in a situation with a guy who will essentially do whatever he wants because he knows he can get away with it and you’ll still be there.

Being the prize isn’t so much a set of behaviors as it is a state of mind. The “Prize” mentality is one that asks: Is he good enough for me? Of all the guys I could have, is he the one I choose?

Guys want to be with a quality woman they had to work for and earn. There is nothing interesting or exciting about a woman who will bend over backwards and settle for scraps just because she doesn’t want to be alone.

If you catch yourself obsessing over what to say to your guy, or how to act around him, stop and tell yourself: “I am the prize that he needs to win over.”

Becoming a thoroughly confident woman takes work and isn’t something that just happens. However, one route to take to get you there is to act like you’re confident. As the saying goes, fake it ’til you make it!

Source: anewmode.com