50 Ways to Make your Wife Happy

Do you remember the last time you did something to make your wife feel special? When you married the woman of your dreams, you not only gained a friend and a lover for life, but a confidante, a helpmate and a caregiver. She is someone you know will steady you when you are faltering and will go all out to cheer you up, when you are feeling low. She is the mother of your kids.
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So, do something special to make your wife feel glad that she married you. Whether you are a brand new husband eager to make her the happiest bride, or a long-wedded spouse wishing to rediscover the fun-loving girl you married, here are some infallible ways to make your wife happy.  
1.Write a romantic letter. Love letters written by hand never go out of fashion. Put your most romantic thoughts on paper, preferably perfumed, and it will surely light up your wife’s eyes.

2. Surprise her with a meal you have cooked. It need not be something elaborate –just a salad, a main course and her favourite dessert should do. But take care to set the table for an intimate dinner, with candles, flowers and soft music.
3. Arrange to go on a luxury cruise. All women love being indulged and what better way to spend a long weekend than go on a luxury cruise in balmy waters and golden sunshine. But make sure that you leave the kids behind, so that your wife can have some time of her own.
4. Invite her family over. Your wife’s parents mean a lot to her, so ask them over for Thanksgiving or any such special occasion. It will assure her that you consider them part of your own family and this will make her really happy for marrying you.
5. Surprise your wife  with flowers for no reason. Make her fall in love with you, all over again.
6. Book her a session at a luxurious spa and better still, join her. She will not only enjoy the spa session, but will be happy that you came along with her.
7. Do something she hates. Choose a chore - like taking out the trash or cleaning out the garage - that your wife really dislikes doing and then go on to complete it. 
8. Show appreciation for her hobbies. Attend the exhibition where your wife’s craft works are on display, or a flower show where her dahlias have been put up. Your interest in her hobbies will give her a feeling of pride and gladden her heart.
9. Gift her an afternoon at the beauty salon. Offer to take care of the kids and let your wife pamper herself at the salon. She’ll come back glowing not only because of the recent facial, but also out of appreciation at your gesture.
10. A sure shot way to make your wife happy at the end of the day is to pick up her favourite dessert on your way back home.
11. Surprise your wife by dropping in at her office at lunchtime and then take her out for a quick bite. It may not be very romantic, but your wife will love the spontaneity of the gesture and the fact that you took time out from your own schedule for the lunch date.
12. Join a salsa class for couples. Your wife will be glad of the intimacy of the dance and having the chance to do something fun together.
13. Make a bowl of popcorn, when your wife settles down for her favourite TV show or movie. Surprise her with your thoughtfulness.
14. Surprise your wife with a really expensive gift, like a Cartier solitaire or a Gucci handbag. Watch the sparkle in her eyes and hang the expense.
15. Do something fun together. Find out fun ways of spending time together as a family. You could pack a picnic basket and spend a lazy Sunday afternoon at the park, while the kids run about playing games.
16. Recreate your first date. Take your wife out in exactly the same way as you had done on your first date. The romantic gesture will be sure to make her giddy with love and happiness all over again.
17. Put together a gift basket for your wife, with assorted aromatic oils and let her sensuous side feel pampered.
18. Offer to take over, when your wife has to wake up at night to soothe a colicky baby or a sick child. Even if she may not seem grateful at the time, the fact that you have given her a chance to catch up on her sleep will surely gladden her heart the next day.
19. Find out your wife’s favourite perfume and gift it to her for no particular reason.
20. Give your wife a back or neck massage after a particularly gruelling day at work and she is sure to thank her stars that she married you.
21. Ask your wife what she would like to do, before you get ready for an intimate evening.
22. Really pay attention to what your wife has to say, especially when you are in company. This will make her feel respected, even though you may not agree with all her views.
23. Find things to compliment about her. All of us like being praised from time to time, but more so, when the compliment comes from a spouse. However, be genuine in your appreciation, as false praise could make her feel worthless and even hurt her.
24. Take care of your appearance. Nothing turns a woman on as a well-groomed and well dressed man. Become that man and give her one more reason to be glad she married you.
25. Offer to take your wife out for shopping and be honestly interested in what she has to buy. She will be glad that you chose to give your time and effort to her shopping interests.
26. Gift your wife a subscription to her favourite magazine. It'll make her happy to know that you pay attention to what interests her.
27. Go over old photo albums with your wife one afternoon. It will not only bring back warm memories of you together, but also make her want to relive those happy times.
28. Invite your wife’s best pals over for a meal. Making a genuine attempt to know who her friends are, will make her proud and happy to have you as a husband.
29. Kiss her the first thing in the morning. Women love simple displays of love and waking up your wife with a kiss, is sure to set her humming for the rest of the day.
30. Cheer for your wife’s favourite sports team.  So what if your wife is a diehard soccer fan while you can drop everything for a game of baseball. Just this once, switch on to her favourite match on TV or better still, root for her favourite team and watch her beam at you.
31. Put the kids to bed. After a gruelling day at work and home, your wife is bound to be tired up to her eyelids. Even if the same goes for you, go another mile and tuck in the kids to bed. Your wife will surely be grateful for your thoughtfulness.
32. Remind your wife that she is beautiful. As couples settle into a routine of familiarity, they slowly stop appreciating each other. Remind her that she is still the most beautiful woman in the world for you and watch her glow with happiness.
33. Say sorry when you have made a mistake. And mean what you say. 
34. Play host to your wife’s boss. If your wife expresses a desire to invite her boss over for dinner at your home, agree to it graciously and be the perfect host. It will mean a lot to your wife and she will be proud to have such a supportive husband.
35. Write a poem for your wife. In these times of electronic modes of communication, a poem that you have composed yourself, will make her feel really special. And be sure to make it as romantic as possible, whether it rhymes or not!
36. Be the one to make the morning coffee. Bringing a steaming cup of coffee to your wife’s bedside on a cold morning, is sure to put her in a happy frame of mind for the rest of the day.
37. Snuggle up to her. Women love the feeling of physical intimacy. Snuggling up to her, now and then, will make her feel desired and happy to be your lover.
38. Surprise your wife with tickets to a romantic movie, especially one that she has been planning to watch for some time. But be sure to accompany her and don’t leave her to go with a friend or co-worker. She will be happy to relive the earlier days of your romance.
39. Hold your wife close at social occasions. This will not only make her feel loved but reassure her that you are proud to have her as your wife. And this in turn will make her feel happy.
40. Make breakfast on weekends and serve it to the kids so that that your wife can sleep till later. Better still, bring it on a tray to your wife in bed and watch her beam with happiness.
41. Treat her like a lady. No woman can resist a man with perfect manners. So even if you have been married for some time now, continue to hold open the door for her and pick up her things if she drops them. She will be glad to know that you are still the gallant young man she fell in love with.
42. Willingly accompany your wife to family events. Granted, that you are bored among all her cousins, aunts and uncles. But make a sincere attempt to look happy at a family wedding and your wife will be sure to appreciate the gesture.
43. Send your wife a bunch of flowers at work and sign off as a mystery lover. Chances are that she will correctly guess you have sent it, but she will love the drama of it all.
44. Call your wife once in a while. Say that you were missing her and just wanted to hear her voice. This will assure her that she figures in your thoughts even while you are busy, and make her really happy.
45. Leave a love-you note on the bathroom mirror. Better still, make it funny so that it leaves a smile on her lips for the rest of the day. 
46. Don’t offer a solution, immediately after your wife mentions a problem. Women often tend to voice problems as a way of discussing things and most likely, they are aware of the solutions themselves. So simply listen to what she has to say and offer a solution only when asked. She will be glad of having a good listener.
47. Flirt with your wife now and then. Go back to the old days when you flirted with each other shamelessly.  This will not only spice up your marriage, but also make your wife feel desired and happy.
48. Be punctual. Just because you are married now, does not mean that you can keep your wife waiting for a meeting. Continue to be punctual as you were when you were dating each other and she will be glad of your responsible personality.
49. Don’t forget to take out the trash and any such chore that you both have decided is your responsibility.
50. Let your wife know that you have been reading up on ways to make her happy. It may seem to amuse her, but actually she will be pleased to know that you are interested in making her happy.
51. Finally, remember to put the toilet seat down. Nothing will make her happier than to have a man around who follows this cardinal bathroom rule.

Every woman likes to be pampered now and then. While gifts and vacations are infallible but extravagant ways of making your wife happy, remember that there are many simpler ways of putting the sparkle back in your woman’s eyes. All it takes is a bit of generosity and a truly loving heart to make her feel glad that she is your wife.

Building trust in relationships

Trust, as we know, is a crucial factor in any relationship. Many relationships have broken up over trust issues. Once violated, trust is very difficult to repair and rebuild, so it has to be guarded carefully and constantly nurtured. It can be compared to a plant that needs the right soil, water and temperature to flourish and attain full bloom. So too, trust requires the right conditions and environment to sustain a relationship through highs and lows.
If partners trust each other in a relationship, there is no guarantee that it will continue to stay that way. You can never trust enough, nor can you take it for granted. You have to constantly build on it.
What are the barriers to building trust in a relationship?
1. Desire to control
When one partner or the other seeks to control the relationship and wants to achieve the upper hand, it is very difficult to meet on equal ground and establish trust. If you are not happy in a relationship and constantly seek to change your partner and dictate terms, it is not an environment conducive to building trust. Your partner will withdraw and alienate himself/herself from you.
2. Dishonesty
If you are always trying to hide things from your partner, or lie by omission, or only tell him/her what you think he/she needs to hear, you are not just being dishonest with your partner but you are not being true to yourself either. Remember that if you’re doing something wrong that you can’t talk about to your partner, it’s not about hiding it from your partner but whether you can live with it. Whatever you do, have the courage of your convictions and there will never be the need to be dishonest.
3. Self-centeredness
When we focus only on our needs and ourselves, we tend to do things that don’t help the relationship and will probably cause a rift in it. If you have selfish motives, it erodes the trust that your partner has placed in you and causes a loss of faith. This in turn hampers the growth of the relationship and causes it to stagnate.


In order to build trust in a relationship we have to overcome these barriers and ensure they don’t act as stumbling blocks. In addition, it is important to work on those factors that enhance trust and cement it so that it acts as a cohesive force in a relationship.
4. Be open
It is vital in a relationship to be as open and honest as possible. Sometimes couples lie to each other on the pretext that the truth will hurt their partner. That is something they should think about when they are indulging in the dishonest act, not at the time of disclosure. If you think twice about what you’re doing and how it will hurt your partner, if you really care for him/her, you won’t do it. If you’re constantly hiding things and not being sincere, it stunts the relationship and inhibits trust.
5. Communication
Communication forms the core - an integral part of building trust and sustaining a relationship. Communication does not involve one person doing all the talking – that too only surface talk about fashion trends and gossip. Communicating effectively involves both partners contributing their fair share to the conversation and listening when the other talks. It involves laying your cards on the table and telling it like it is, talking about your deeper emotions and feelings. It means being straightforward about your needs and expectations.
6. Forgiveness
Building trust in a relationship also involves being able to forgive your partner for the hurt he may have caused you in the past. If you can’t do that and insist on clinging to petty problems or keep raking up old issues, the relationship will die a natural death. Or one or both of you is going to be extremely unhappy. If you decide to continue in a relationship despite the hurt your partner may have inflicted on you in the past and would like to work on rebuilding the trust, you have to be willing to wipe the slate clean and start over.
7. Empathize
When problems come up or difficult situations arise, as they are bound to, it is important to show concern for your partner’s feelings and be sensitive to their needs. Even if you didn’t agree with the course of action and he didn’t take your advice, support him in his time of despair. If you understand his deepest desires and identify with his interests, he is more inclined to trust you with his feelings. If you throw them back in his face, ridicule him or rub it in when he’s stumbled and fallen, he will not be inclined to trust you.
8. Maintain positive feelings
If your partner has never given you reason to doubt him, then don’t. What’s that line about someone not being guilty unless proven otherwise? If you’re always suspicious and doubting his motives, jealous and quick to jump to conclusions (often the wrong ones), it will be very difficult to build trust. Treat your partner just the way you would want to be treated – with love and respect.
Building trust in a relationship doesn’t come with a snap of the fingers. It takes hard work and commitment, but once you have it and work to keep it alive, you will reap the fruits of it.

10 Signs that your Marriage is in Trouble

One of the biggest mistakes that married couples make is to start taking their relationship for granted. They go along with the status quo, their eyes shut, to the changing equation in their marriage until one day, either of them is surprised by the delivery of divorce papers. So, if you don’t want to be caught unawares, pay attention to the health of your marital relationship and if you pick up any undesirable symptoms, make sure that you sit with your spouse and thrash things out. Here are ten key signs that will help you to take stock if your marriage is in trouble:
TIP: Download the guide to making up with your spouse
You no longer seem to have anything to say to your spouse
You may be living under the same roof with your spouse and performing routine errands, but still have nothing to say to each other. Living in silence is often the first warning sign that all is not right in the relationship. However, do not confuse this with the companionable silence that couples share in a long, satisfied marriage. There, it is a case of two people knowing each other so well as to be comfortable in their silence and not having the need to make small conversation. But in the case of a disintegrating marriage, the silence makes for an arid, loveless atmosphere, where two people have nothing to share anymore.

You no longer have any common interests
Remember the early days of marriage, when you tried out so many pursuits together? While it is natural that over time, each partner finds his or her own niche in the relationship, it is unusual for the spouses to give up all shared interests. If you find that you no longer do anything fun or interesting together, consider it as a warning sign on the health of your marriage.
You are subject to constant criticism from your spouse
One of the unmistakable signs of a troubled marriage, is that partners begin to funnel larger relationship issues into criticism of day-to-day tasks. If you find you can do no right in your partner’s eyes, consider what lies beneath the constant, unceasing criticism. Do you feel intimidated and perpetually on tenterhooks by your partner’s unrelenting negative attitude? If yes, then maybe it is time to address the underlying issues in your marriage.
You are the last person to know
A disintegrating marriage is strongly characterized by an increasingly widening communication gap between partners. In such a situation, your partner will stop sharing information about his or her social and professional lives with you. You will find out about your spouse’s achievements at work, or problems with family members, from second or third-hand sources, like your partner’s co-worker or neighbours of your partner’s parental home.
Your partner is bitter about the past
One infallible yet seemingly innocuous pointer to the state of your marriage is your partner’s response to the question on how you met each other. If your partner seems bitter about the past and makes sarcastic remarks like , “She snagged me” or “I got tired of saying no to him” before guests, consider it a sign that your spouse in deeply unhappy in the marriage. Memories of first dates and meetings should be one of the most treasured in any happy marriage and when these turn bitter, it is time to take stock of what is wrong.
Physical appearances no longer matter
In the early days of a marriage, couples take great care of how they appear to each other. Over time, as the comfort level increases in a marriage, spouses become much more relaxed about the need to look “perfect” for their partner. However, if you find that your spouse has undergone a sudden sharp decline in matters of appearance and hygiene, it could be because your partner no longer cares whether or not you find them desirable. This complete lack of interest is an indication that your spouse is no longer happy in the marriage and sooner or later is likely to opt out.
When distractions are used to avoid real issues
Your marriage may be in trouble, if you both are using distractions to avoid dealing with relationship issues. Common signs of this are a perpetually switched on television set or a constantly playing music system, which are convenient tools to avoid paying attention to your partner. Do you always have one more thing to do before you can settle down, or is your spouse always hiding behind the newspaper? If yes, then it is time you both cut out the distractions and focus on your relationship, before it is too late.
You keep arguing about the same issues in the same way
If discussions on your relationship seem to have got stuck in a rut with the same arguments again and again, it is evident that your marriage is in trouble. The inability to communicate thoughts and feelings effectively, is often the initial step towards a breakdown in a relationship. Take the help of a marriage counsellor, if you both seem unable to resolve issues on your own.
A lack of trust
You no longer trust each other. Mutual faith is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship, including marriage. If you find yourself constantly doubting your partner’s whereabouts, or if your spouse suspects you of infidelity, clearly something is deeply wrong in your marriage.
There is no longer any intimacy in your marriage
Intimacy is the act that allows a man and woman to bond as a couple. While the absence of sex in a marriage is considered a big red flag, counsellors will tell you that the first signs of trouble crop up long before. Be warned, if you find that you both have stopped snuggling up to each other, or you no longer give your spouse a passionate kiss before leaving for work. This is because a growing physical distance between spouses is intrinsically related to a widening emotional gap.
Every marriage is unique, since it is a new relationship made by the coming together of two unique individuals. Thus its strengths and weaknesses, its pitch and personality too are bound to be unlike any other. And yet, there are some common symptoms which can warn partners that their relationship is headed for trouble. So take heed of the warning signs and if you do find them in your marriage, do not waste any more time get down to resolving all pertinent issues.

Commitment and Monogamy - Just how important is commitment to a relationship?

Jenny, a consultant in a reputed company, had been married for a year. She was content in her relationship and secure in the marriage. Rex - smart, funny, and a generous lover, had a bright future ahead in the law firm where he worked. Jenny was thrilled that she had been lucky enough to meet him and that they had clicked instantly. Just when everything was hunky dory, her world fell apart. Her friend Lisa told her she’d seen Rex out on the town with someone else. "I couldn’t believe it at first and told Lisa she must have been mistaken", she said. "Until I did a little snooping around and found her messages about their clandestine meetings on his cell phone. I was devastated".
When Jenny confronted Rex with it, he was nonchalant. "He didn’t even bother to deny it. He was so casual and acted like there was something skewed in my approach", says Jenny. It seems Rex had a few gray shades to his character which Jenny hadn’t discovered till then. Fidelity wasn’t his forte.
To Jenny, whose parents are still together after 35 years of marriage, a relationship is sacred. And one of the foundation stones of a good relationship is commitment. When you cannot commit to somebody, the repercussions are immense.
Like Jenny, many feel strongly about monogamy and commitment, and so they should! An intimate relationship is between two individuals and a third party can only cause confusion, distrust, betrayal and hurt.
A commitment is the equivalent of a promise or a pledge. And going back on it is tantamount to breaking your word to someone. It is obviously not for those who think that variety is the spice of life, because being monogamous implies being committed to one person or married to one person, forsaking all others. It isn’t simple but neither is it impossible. And yes, it is absolutely vital, to any relationship.
Everyone enters into a relationship with expectations. The expectation of commitment – complete and total – is one of the basic ones. For without commitment you are never sure where you stand with the other person. Very often, individuals in a relationship have expectations of each other. Some are lofty and unrealistic, but expecting a monogamous relationship, whether dating, engaged or married is the most fundamental one.
There are certain parameters that must always be established in a relationship and the ability to trust and commit to each other is crucial. Your partner may lavish luxuries on you and treat you like a queen, but if he thinks it's ok to cheat on you or see someone on the side as long as you don’t know about it, the relationship is obviously doomed from the word go.


In a marriage, compromise is important, but the one area that leaves no scope for compromise is fidelity. It’s all or nothing. Once there are commitment issues and a breakdown of trust it is very difficult to wipe the slate clean and start over with the same person. The affected party also finds it very difficult to trust again in other relationships and is forever affected by this aberration.If it happens to you, what would your approach be? Think about the following:
• How strongly do you still feel about your partner despite him/her letting you down?
• Is your relationship worth fighting for and salvaging?
• Are there children involved?
• Can you truly forgive? And can you forget?
There’s no point forgiving but constantly bringing it up and holding it over your partner’s head is extremely unhealthy in the long run. If you have decided to forgive, then:
• Communicate
• Analyze the reasons for straying/cheating/infidelity
• Seek help or go into therapy
Finally, without rubbing it again and again do ensure that your partner realizes your magnanimity in taking him/her back. Do not let him/her think you are a pawn. Let them know in no uncertain terms that there is no such thing as a third chance!

Proposing marriage - Make your proposal memorable

So you’re thinking of proposing to her…Just the fact that you’ve come this far says a lot about your relationship. You have decided to spend the rest of your life with this one special woman (we’re taking the sexist approach here and assuming it’s a guy’s prerogative to propose!) You might not be the romantic kind but most men like to take a little extra trouble when it comes to proposing to the woman of his dreams. It's almost like that first interview or a really important exam – you want to give it your best. After all, this is a story that might do the rounds for years to come and when she’s recounting it to your offspring or even their offspring, you do want to come out smelling roses!

TIP: Martin Flyer has some really affordable engagement rings if you're planning to pop the question.

Before you start thinking of how you’re actually going to propose and consider some innovative ways of doing it, here are some fundamentals for the novice suitor.

In the unlikely event that you’ve never discussed it before, do at least find out if she’s amenable to the idea of marriage. Since you’ve got this far it's more than likely you know each other well enough, but do try and cover all key issues.

TIP: Read some of the most creative ways to propose marriage

Even the most modern of women like some old-fashioned things. And one of them is asking her father's permission. There’s something very quaint about it and women love the notion that you took the trouble and plucked up the courage to do this.

And from the old fashioned to the traditional. Grace, now married for five years, still resents the fact that her husband Jeremy didn’t go down on bended knee to propose. According to her, "I feel cheated of a special romantic moment." Don’t let it happen to you!

It is often difficult for a man to pick a simple gift for a woman, unless you happen to be particularly good at it. And jewelry is even more mind-boggling. The ring has to be perfect. It’s best not to take chances with this one. So unless you’re absolutely sure of her taste, trick her into revealing it to you. Get a friend of her's to take her on a fantasy shopping expedition of ‘Which-ring-would-I-choose?’ If your lady is fastidious as far as her jewelry is concerned it's best to have all bases covered when it comes to the ring.

Do make it as private, personal and innovative as possible. You may want to shout it from the rooftops but leave that for later. When you do propose, it's probably best to pick a quiet place and choose an appropriate moment. But you know your woman best. If you think she’s one of those who will get a kick from the added attention and drama that a public proposal brings in its wake, do pull out all the stops.

Don’t make the mistake of proposing when you’re still in the initial stages of your relationship. There are some men who are commitment-phobic while there are others who are dying to settle down. If you’re in the latter category, don’t rush into proposing…you may scare her away.

Don’t feel rejected if she says she needs time to think. You may feel slightly dejected that after all your effort and the element of surprise, she didn’t just go with the flow and accept! In fact, this may be an aspect of her personality you never knew – that she likes to take time and weigh her decisions! Be happy you’ve learnt one more side to the woman you’re going to marry, and take heart! If you’ve been right about her, she’ll surely say yes!

1. Proposal Tips

Go all out and plan everything. From what you will wear, to where you will propose, what you will say and all the accompaniments. Do it with panache and flair.

You might wear what you wore on your first date and remind her of it (provided, of course, it still fits) or an outfit you know she adores on you. And while you’re at it, wear your heart on your sleeve! Women just adore men who are transparent about their emotions.

A few proposal/venue suggestions…

2. The site of your first date

There’s nothing more romantic than the place you had your first rendezvous. It brings back so many memories that can only add to another special moment you are going to create in your relationship…asking her to be with you forever!

3. On a holiday

A romantic break for just the two of you is the perfect opportunity to propose. It offers you the isolation and privacy you need to pluck up the guts to propose.

4. At a picnic for two

Kidnap her from her place of work and whisk her off to a secluded spot. Amid the chirping of the birds and serene atmosphere, ask her to be your's.

5. At the top of a ferris wheel

This is a cheap but novel option, especially if your woman has a little girl in her that loves amusement parks and the like.

6. At a romantic dinner for two

This is a tried and true option. It may not be the most innovative approach but you can’t go wrong with this one. Wine and dine her and if you want to really be clichéd, place the ring in the champagne glass but do be alert if she’s not the sip and savor kind. You might end up with an emergency on your hands!

7. With a lavish fireworks display

If she’s the kind who loves to be the cynosure of all eyes make it really spectacular. Let the sparks fly and watch her reaction as you get it done, the way they show it in the movies.

8. The Proposal

"It's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away." So goes a popular song. You may not have a big budget, and can’t afford the luxury of a lavish surprise proposal or a huge solitaire, but if you’ve got a way with words, your proposal is a done deal. Be eloquent or simply speak straight from your heart and she’ll be YOUR'S.

You may want to tell her how very much she means to you, how your life will be meaningless without her in it, the joy she fills you with, how every moment spent with her is special and how you would like to build a lifetime on such moments. This is one occasion when you’ve got to let your heart rule your head!

Dealing with a woman who's a tease

Women love to use their sexuality. It is one of their most powerful weapons to reduce normal, intelligent men to slobbering, salivating idiots. Sometimes it is a woman’s way of exacting payment for whatever grouse they have against the male species in general.

At other times, women may not even have any such devious motives. They simply enjoy flaunting their sexuality and reveling in the effect they have on men. It is a way of reinforcing their attractiveness to themselves.

TIP: Read how to hypnotise a woman who's a tease into giving in.

But there is a certain kind of woman who uses her sexuality for the express purpose of toying with a man. She titillates and has him at her mercy, and just when he thinks he’s got her where he wants her, she withdraws. And leaves him panting for more. This is the tease.

To a lot of women, flirting is a harmless game that a man enjoys as much as they do. What is it that separates a tease from other women who are just flirting casually?

For one, a tease will be more brazen and use sexual overtures, coming on pretty strong. Her whole appearance will scream that she’s there for the taking and will lure a man to approach her. If not, she has enough ammunition to do it herself.

She will dangle the promise of sexual favors, which she knows is bait enough for any red-blooded male, and sufficient to turn him into putty in her hands. She uses her charming wiles to draw him closer and make him think he will get lucky before the night is through. She also has an uncanny knack of sensing the kind of man who will be most susceptible to her charms.

He will buy her drinks and dinner; cater to her every whim, but he will still find himself left out in the cold. And therein lies the catch. Once she has got whatever she is after, attention, money, a freeloading adventure, she will drop him like the proverbial hot potato. Leaving him wonderin what just happened.

Her whole agenda focuses on making empty promises that she definitely does not intend to keep. She builds up the expectations and has him making plans, which of course never come to fruition.

And often, nobody else will do. She has built up the man's hopes to such a level that he has to have her; anybody else is second best. And in his desperation, he is willing to do anything, at the risk of sacrificing his male pride and ego. And being skilled in the game, she knows it and is stringing him along for all she is worth, while secretly laughing at him. What is it that makes a woman a tease?

Is it a form of exacting vengeance because someone has hurt her in the past and she is afraid to trust again? For her teasing is safe, she knows it will never amount to anything on her side. She likes to unleash the passion in a man, while keeping a tight rein on her own emotions. She may be in some way appeasing her darker side, just enjoying the thrill of playing a dangerous game. Or she may just want things easy, content to let some poor sucker pick up the tab, and she will get away with giving nothing in return. And of course, sometimes, there are no deeper motives; just the simple fun that is to be had in leading a man on and making him squirm with discomfort when he has to come away unfulfilled.

But teasing can be a very deadly game, especially if taken too far. There are men who cannot be dangled too long, and when push comes to shove, they will make it clear they are not going away empty-handed. Things can get ugly, especially if he cannot tolerate being made a fool of and can resort to using force to get what he sees as his due.

To avoid landing yourself in this soup that is more trouble than it is worth, become an expert in identifying a tease and stay away. You have to hone your skills, and sometimes this comes from the sheer experience of having been toyed with before and come away a loser.

Or if you are up for it and have yourself developed considerable skill in this sport, take her on. After all, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. If you find yourself already in her radar and she’s set her sights on you, besides turning tail and running, you could try beating her at her own game. But make sure you’re absolutely capable of taking her on; else you might be biting off more than you can chew.

Never give her the pleasure of seeing she’s getting to you. Do not ever show her the effect she’s having on you, either physical or emotional. Flirt with her in return.

Or if you’re really an expert, and you know what you’re doing, let her think she’s having the desired results, and then do an about-face and leave her hanging.

And if at all you happen to have missed all the obvious signs or she’s perfected the art of being subtle (which is all the more dangerous) and you’ve been an easy target thus far, it’s not too late to open your eyes and realize you’re being taken for a ride. You should know you’re too far gone, if your friends tell you she’s trying similar tricks on them, and you refuse to believe it. Give them a fair chance and let them prove it to you. And when it’s confirmed, run as hard and as fast as you can - in the opposite direction.

But if she’s already milked you dry and you think it's payback time, you could take her for a fancy dinner. And on the pretext of visiting the cloakroom, you could discreetly get out…of the restaurant...and her life…leaving her to pick up the tab.

How to Have an Active and Exciting Sex Life after the Arrival of Children

For every couple, to a greater or lesser extent, sex life undergoes a change after the arrival of children. Bodily changes, childcare and multi-tasking leave parents with little time and less energy to engage in lovemaking with the result their sex lives often end up monotonous at best or non-existent at worst. However it is possible to reclaim your amorous selves and bring back the spark in  your marriage. So here are few tips on having an exciting sex life even with kids.

Prioritize

For you and your partner to have a great sex life even as parents, it is necessary that you make it one of the priorities in your relationship. This means acknowledging that it is important to you as a couple and that you both are willing to invest time and energy into it. You may already be burdened with caring for the little ones, never-ending housework and an unhappy boss at the workplace and thus unwilling to put in any more effort anywhere. But remember, a happy sex life leads to a happy relationship which in turn makes you great parents and fulfilled individuals.

TIP: Download the guide to giving multiple powerful orgasms to a woman and have your wife wait impatiently for you to join her in bed!

Learn to be more flexible

Plans are one of the first casualties of parenthood. As soon as you have tucked in the kids and are ready to snuggle up to your partner, you might hear your two year-old ask for a glass of water or wake up crying because of a bad dream. Rather learn to make plans as you go; for instance when your baby is napping during the day, get together with your partner for a brief romp between the sheets instead of worrying about the dishes piled in the sink. Or when your seven-year old is away at her piano lessons, invite your partner for a lovemaking session instead of rushing out to get the groceries. Also be open to different ways of making love like having a quickie every now and then instead of waiting endlessly for prolonged amorous encounter which you enjoyed when there were no kids.

Take the help of friends and family

Whenever possible, rope in family members and close friends to act as babysitters while you and your partner sneak away for some “us-time”.  Consider leaving toddlers and older kids overnight with grandparents – the latter are sure to have a great time pampering their grandkids while you both can look forward to a long romantic night.

Be open to love

Don’t assume that you have to be “in the mood” to be able to initiate or enjoy sex. Time was when you only had to exchange significant looks with your partner to get physically aroused or at least in an exciting frame of mind. But now with deadlines at work and dinner to prepare, your mind or your body may not always be so receptive to subtle signals. Instead be open to intimacy with your partner whenever the opportunity arises and let your physical arousal be part of the process. That way if sexual climax is prevented by any external exigencies, neither of you need feel frustrated or let down.

Teach kids to respect your privacy

As soon as your kids are old enough to understand that parents are different from their own selves, try to tell them about Mum and Dad needing some “cuddle” time too. Children are great ones for giving and receiving love and thus are likely to understand that parents need love from each other too. Once you are able to teach them that parents are a couple and need their privacy, not only they are less likely to interrupt you and your partner but can be easier to deal with if they do. For instance when your pre-schooler wants to play with Mum, you can ask him to watch Spiderman on his own with the promise to take him out for an ice-cream later.

Help each other

Exhaustion is one of the biggest causes of lack of sexual harmony among couples and more often than not it is the parent who bears the lion’s share of parenting duties who is too worn out to initiate or enjoy sex by the end of the day. No matter what age the kids are, they come with their own responsibilities. Babies and toddlers need to be fed, clothed, bathed and cleaned while school-going ones need to be dropped at school, picked up from soccer practice or have their homework supervised. How you and your partner share these responsibilities and who does how much are best decided by you both but you do need to be clear on who will do what and why. Or else there is bound to be too much burden on one person and the consequent building up of resentment, neither of which are particularly favorable for a happy sex life.

Be open to experimentation

The secret to having an exciting sex life as parents lies in modifying your lovemaking techniques according to the emotional and physical demands of that particular parenting phase. As parents of toddlers, time is at a premium so sharpen your skills required for a quickie. When kids are out for longer periods at school or a friend’s house, then rediscover languorous episodes of love-making which you indulged in as newlyweds.

Change your perspective

Women especially are victims of unrealistic body images which highlight only the skinny look as sexy. If you have been avoiding sex on account of changes in your body, learn to accept them as perfectly natural part of being a mother. If you are a man, make your partner feel desirable precisely because of a fuller, more rounded body. Once you begin to discard artificial notions of what is sexy and attractive, you will find your own body and that of your partner more desirable and consequently sex more enjoyable.